Tuesday, 16 August 2011

Red, White, & Britney

Soundtrack for today is "DJ, Ease My Mind" by Niki & The Dove.

I can't say I've ever celebrated the 4th Of July before. I'm not very patriotic in the first place, and I'm also not American by birth. I guess those are both good reasons not to wave my star spangled banner on Independence Day. This year, things changed. The 4th Of July would find me at a true American event - a Britney Spears concert. What could possibly be more USA friendly than a performance by my favourite southern belle?

The day of the show was my first day of bartending school. I arrived at noon to find a few other young people sitting outside the building in the sweltering sun waiting for our instructor to arrive. As we waited a delivery truck drove up to the restaurant next door and I could hear a familiar whistling coming from the trucks radio - the whistling from Britney's song "I Wanna Go." My excitement was already through the roof and this made my smile grow even wider.

Our drinking teacher arrived and told us we should probably not bother showing up before 12:05 the next day, or any day after. I liked her immediately. She began by asking us why we had decided to take the course. She went around the room and I grew concerned when I heard the answers:

"I want to open a bar in Ecuador."
"I wanted to make some new friends."
"I want to be a bartender?"

Didn't anyone in this room have the same motives as I did? Luckily my prayers were answered when she asked the youngest member of our class. We'll call him BD (Brother Doppelganger) because he immediately reminded me of my younger brother. His answer to the question? "I just like to drink." I knew we'd get along.

For lunch we all headed over to McDonald's (which would become a daily ritual) and on our way back I grabbed BD and pulled him behind a bank ATM. I grabbed a bottle of vodka out of my man purse and topped off our Fruitopias. It was Britney day, and it was time to celebrate. By the end of the class I was feeling well, a bit pissed - and BD had even broken a glass during the speed drink-making round. Keep in mind, we weren't actually pouring booze, it was just food coloured water. I don't think I corrupted BD though - the next day he told a story about him getting kicked out of his high school graduation for fighting with the principal of the school. This was my kind of guy. When I finally decided to tell him that he reminded me of my brother his reply was "I'd love to meet him, I bet we'd get along." Or their personalities would clash and they'd both end up dead.

Anyway, back to Britney. I sped off to my kindred spirit's house. His boyfriend was contemplating whether or not to buy tickets to see Britney with us. I told him he'd be sorry if he didn't, but my bestie was playing the "well can you afford it? Will you feel guilty?" cards. I wasn't having any of that "I will be pissed if you don't come to the Britney show, and you will regret missing it forever." In the end, I convinced him to go. Who can resist the power of Britney? We'll call my friend BA in this situation (Bad Angel, or maybe Boring Angel) for not insisting his BF join us at Britney...which I think makes me SA (Spontaneous Angel.)

Earlier in the day I had posted a Britney related Facebook status asking people to tell me their favourite Britney songs. BA's response was "Piece Of Me. I mean, please." which is total genius and I was mad about him being a better Britney fan than me on the day of her show. We drove off to the concert and I randomly decided to change lanes without shoulder checking - nearly cutting someone off before BA warned me. I apologized and he said he was not worried - that my Bubble would protect him. Now, I like the idea that I have a positive force field surrounding me...I'm not sure if it's true, but if there is one person who would know, it's BA. He's the intuitive inquisitive one. He's the one who asks the questions that I generally consider to boring to ask. He makes plans and knows the specifics. He is a fact based guy - which means you can tell him anything without fear of judgment. So he was the perfect companion for my Britney festivities - anyone else would blame me for their loss of hearing after enduring my high pitched shrieking for several hours.

We arrived at the arena, I bought my t-shirt and my Britney tights, and we made our way to our spectacular seats in the 5th row on the floor. An usher led us right up next to the catwalk and sat me immediately beside it. Tears started to well up in my eyes - I knew we had amazing seats, but these seats? They were perfect. Britney would be close enough to touch. And she was - and she was incredible. Say what you want about my girl B, but she knows how to put on a show. I'll always have her back - she's got Bad Initials too, after all: BS. My only disappointment was when I found out that in order to be selected to dance on stage with Britney during 'I Wanna Go' was that you had to enter a contest through the radio station a few weeks earlier. I wish I'd known - I would have outdanced every person on that stage. I thought I recognized the one Asian guy who was pulled up (some people from far away apparently thought it was me!) When I got home I saw someone had written "Great job up there tonight!" on his Facebook and realized I did know who he was. I quickly clicked UNFRIEND.

BA would actually make physical contact with Nicki Minaj before the evening was over. He would also tell me that Nicki's back-up dancers shared my physique - small waist, big butt.

 For me, there is no higher compliment.


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